Mix and match Organic Toddler socks?!?!?!

Okay guys it’s been awhile however I have a new obsession so I thought I would share it with you!!

I was so lucky to have been able to try Q for Quinn organic socks and I am in love!!  Okay soo I am def one that always blames the dryer for “eating our socks”…like seriously though where do they go???  This is part of the reason why I love Q for Quinn, you don’t have to scramble trying to find a pair that match  perfectly (like who has time for that – we always leave the house with 2 different pairs on over here) they are MIX and MATCH – legit you can have 3 pairs of socks and it gives you 9 possibilities so that when you don’t match you still match, it’s seriously genius esp for us mommas!!

They are amazing quality organic cotton with seamless toes and  unreal fool proof rubber grips (for max anti – slip) so if you have crazy little humans like I do who run all over the place they will be good!!

Also lets talk about the insanely cute book written by the founder of Q for Quinn (Melita).  It’s called Quinn’s socks and we love it!  It’s so fun to read with the kids as it’s a rhyming story about a little boy and his socks and about all the the different styles and patterns!

Okay there’s one more thing about this amazing company – they give back!!!  When you buy 1 pair of socks (bet you cant just buy one), 1 school meal is donated they use Mary’s Meals.  Click on the link to learn more about Mary’s Meals – def sounds amazing to me and I can’t wait to help out!

I can’t wait to see Q for Quinn’s new tights collection; they def have my attention!!

Loving LOVEFRESH!!

Hey guys,

So it’s been awhile since I’ve written…been concentrating on getting this house organized and if any of you know me that is going to take an extremely long time!!!

I’ve been wanting to try the company LOVEFRESH for a long time now.  My children both have sensitive skin..more my 2 year old than my 4 year old.  He has a bit of eczema on his face, always has diaper rash/red bum so I wanted to go with something as natural as possible.

So when I needed more stuff for the kiddos I decided to give LOVEFRESH a go.  Their products are full of essential oils, coconut oil as well as other healthy ingredients..plus I loved that they are made in Toronto.

I bought 3 things from their line for my littles Click the names to learn whats in the products:

Baby Lotion –  I have been using this on my little mans dry, chapping, red face and I have already seen a significant difference within a very short period of time.  His face is not as chapped or red anymore and the main thing it doesn’t look sore.  I also loved this one b/c a lot of lotions have been hurting his face when you put it on, but with this one he does not wince at all.  I also put it on both of their bodies after baths and it makes their skin back to baby soft all over again

Baby Bottom Butter  – This is a very thick zinc based cream (think coco butter thickness but so much better for them).   I have putting this on my little ones bum every time I change him and there is a huge difference in his little butt..he now is not crying when I have to change him and I can tell it’s very soothing for him.  I would show a before and after photo but I just don’t think that would be appropriate and he may not be happy with me when he gets older!

Baby Wash – This is an awesome product!!  Not only is it a body wash for your littles it is also a shampoo and can be used as a bubble bath as well.  I will say that the bubble bath isn’t like the normal ones where it’s full of massive bubbles but it does the trick and it’s better for them!  I used the shampoo on both of them but mainly for my girls extremely long hair (One day she will let me cut it haha).  Her hair was so soft after we blowdried it and it smelt so nice…it’s not scented but it’s oils and the extracts mixed together.

I am extremely happy that I finally took the plunge and tried this company as I truly think it is a good fit for my kiddos and anyone else’s for that matter!

 

Also just so that my readers know;  I am in no way affiliated with the company, I just like to share the amazing things I find along with the shitty things that you shouldn’t waste your money on!  These three products though are worth every penny…can’t wait to try some of their household products out!!

bathtime

“The World isn’t all Cupcakes and Rainbows”

Oh man but how nice would it be if it was?!?!

We all have those ppl that we follow on social media and we think man their life looks perfect.  But it’s just a bunch of squares that everyone fills with happy moments…yes I myself do it as well but I also share things that aren’t “cupcakes and rainbows”.

But I will say…that person’s life isn’t perfect, no ones life is “perfect” I mean really what is perfect??  I don’t think there is anyone you follow on social media that doesn’t have issues whether they make it known or not may be a different story but I can promise you they are going through something or have gone through something that you as a follower don’t know.

This weekend for some reason was crazy emotional for me, I’m not sure what it was but I know that I am not truly happy with myself, I know that the things in the past couple of months have weighed me down..and while I have the best children, the best husband and i’ve had the mind set of “f it i’m going to do whatever makes me happy”…I still have a lot to work on!

I can’t have anxiety about going out b/c I don’t like the way I feel about myself..I have to work on it. I can’t not talk about things b/c i know that other people have a harder life, I need to talk about things to get it out and I am allowed to feel the way I feel.

The pics that I have here are when I was pregnant with Hayden and then one where I was pregnant with Hunter (my rainbow baby).

To be honest I wasn’t one of those people that loved being pregnant..I actually hated most of it if i’m being honest, I wasn’t one of those “cute” pregnant ppl, I was well…i’ll just say not cute!  I was always sick, my back was always sore but on the other hand I was so excited to meet these two little ones…Annd it’s amazing what your body can do!!  Feeling a little baby move inside you, seeing their hands and feet punch out at you is truly amazing..they sometimes literally play games with you while they are inside you…the woman’s body (even though we curse it ladies) is truly wonderful!  This being said I would love to go back to that pregnant stage even when I really disliked a lot of the moments..the good always out weighs the bad.

Not everyone has the chance to feel this feeling and my heart hurts for them.   I am super lucky I have felt this feeling and because of that I would try my best not to complain and just enjoy it…don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I didn’t complain at all b/c I def did!

We wanted a third and we have tried so hard and I am sure the trying is not over but it’s def on hold for the moment.  I don’t talk about the things that have happened because I feel  bad about being sad and I don’t want to sound like i’m complaining to others because again we are so insanely lucky to have the amazing two kiddos we have!!  But I I’m realizing it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to talk about it and it’s def okay to be a bit angry and shed a few tears of sadness and frustration.
Even if you are extremely lucky, even if you have an amazing family, an amazing house and an amazing life it doesn’t mean that everything in your life is amazing and it’s okay to be sad about things when you go through them and when things don’t happen the way you vision or the way you want them to.

It’s OKAY!!   Even though you feel guilty for feeling this way it’s okay to and we have to realize that.  We have to realize that some things are okay to cry about, to talk about and to be completely and utterly gutted about.  So take that time to be angry, take that time to be sad and always always take that time you need to heal and work on what will make you feel better!  Remember that no matter how “Perfect” someone’s life looks from the outside, they are probably battling a demon of some sort! Don’t bottle it up and talk to someone!

That being said – we also have to focus on the amazing and imperfect life that we have b/c the good outweighs the bad and you don’t want the bad to completely consume you..that’s not healthy for anyone!

Let’s talk more about the things ppl don’t talk about, lets talk to each other and help each other rise above!

The photos with Hayden in my belly are done by my amazingly talented cousin: You by Mia Photography

The photo of Hayden and I dancing in the field was taken by my other amazingly talented friend Lesley Cowan Photography

Please don’t let this jinx it

Okay guys it’s a miracle!

If you follow me on instagram you probably saw that I got my set of oils from doterra this week.
I was so excited to try them for Hayden, not for the reason of sleeping on her own but for the simple fact that I can’t watch her wake up screaming and crying anymore.  She has been waking up multiple times a night for the past few months in a panic.

If you don’t have experience with night terrors they are horrible, it’s awful to see your little one in a panic crying/screaming when they are just trying to sleep.  This is a little bit about them:  Night terror, also known as sleep terror, is a sleep disorder, causing feelings of terror or dread, and typically occurs during the first hours of stage 3–4 non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep. Sleepterrors begin in children between the ages of 3 and 12, and usually stop during adolescence.

Last night I bathed the kids with a few drops of lavender oil to help wind them down a bit before bed as they wind eachother up every night before bed.  Hunter went down right away and slept through the night with no issues.

For Hayden I put the diffuser in her room; I put 4 drops of Juniper (a natural calming and grounding fragrance) with a drop of lavender.  I put the light on the diffuser and I set it for the longest period of time which was 4 hours.  She was in awe of the diffuser and loved the smell of it.  The light worked as a night light for her which I think also helps a bit.

But guess what??? Last night was the first night in a long time I got to sneak out of her room early when she fell asleep and she didn’t wake up right away screaming because we weren’t there, it was the first night in a long time that she didn’t wake up at all through the night in a panic.  She did come into our room at one point but we have no idea when she crawled into our bed so she must have been super quiet which means no tears!

I swear if that diffuser was on all night she wouldn’t have got out of bed at all!

I am really hoping in writing this that I am not jinxing it and that it continues on being like this and better as right now I am in awe of the amazing sleep we all got.

In the morning I said Hayden it looks like you got a better sleep last night and she said “It was the oils momma” and then she dragged daddy to go look at the diffuser and “smell her room” .

She made me put oils on down in the kitchen while she was having breakfast and getting ready for school so she could smell and daddy could smell.  I put a few drops of wild orange in the diffuser and our whole downstairs smells soo nice.  I came in from dropping Hayden off for school and it just smelt so fresh.

I think i am officially fully in love with these oils and I wish I tried them sooner when I first wanted to!

Let’s hope this is the end of night terrors for our little girl and that I didn’t just jinx it!!

“Bad Dreams, Bad Dreams go away. Good Dreams, Good Dreams here to stay”

Little girls dreams should be made up of princesses, fairies, unicorns and anything that makes them happy/laugh, not terrors or nightmares.

I am lucky as she does sleep and some mommas out there don’t get any sleep what so ever so don’t take this as a complaining post…this is a simple how do I help her post?!?!

She used to do creepy things in her sleep; for example:  I would be downstairs while she was sleeping and hear her screaming at the top of her lungs as if something really horrible happened, I would first look at the camera (we have the Nest set up in their rooms) and I would see her standing beside her bed screaming at the wall, then I would run up my stairs as fast as I could (seriously though like superhero speed) and she would be fast asleep in her bed..honestly like she was possessed I can’t even explain how terrifying it would be.

She grew out of it or so we thought..she would have her little slip up where she’s screaming for us in her room but wasn’t like a “demon” took over her or anything like before and she didn’t need us to lay down beside her just needed to know we were there if she needed us.

Now she is back..I wouldn’t say the “demon” is back but she hasn’t slept through the night in months, she needs us to lay beside her until she falls asleep, if she wakes up and we are not there she screams/cries for us in a panic, she also tends to scream in her sleep as well. She “tiptoes really quietly into our room not to wake us up”  but then 10 minutes later I am being pushed off the bed b/c she loves to sleep on top of me.

Now while I don’t mind the cuddles at night time;  I’m not one to say my child will never sleep in my bed (and there’s nothing wrong with that if you are), I am just that mom that keeps thinking if this is what soothes her to sleep through the night then by all means and well let’s be honest they aren’t going to want to snuggle mommy and daddy forever so I welcome the snuggles.  However I feel awful for this little girl who is clearly having either night terrors or some not so nice dreams, I wish I could just wish them away for her and they would be gone because it literally breaks my heart seeing her wake up in a panic or seeing her panic in her sleep…sometimes it’s not even english when she’s speaking.

I mean to be honest I talked in my sleep a lot too and I’m pretty sure I still do sometimes (A little bit scary to have no idea what you said in the morning but hey whatever).  When I was younger we did competitive sprint racing kayaking/canoeing, our coach was staying with us in the hotel room and I apparently sat straight up, started talking clearer than day but it was not in english (maybe it’s hereditary haha).  Another time was when I was older and I spoke in my sleep to a guy that was on the top bunk beside my bunk in Australia…I believe I spoke to him about the sky and then hotdogs (just a bit embarrassing)!
I’m not sure what will help her with this but we are trying.  I have finally ordered some essential oils, I got some help  with them from an awesome fellow mom whom I met on Instagram, she told with what oils to use in order to help her get a better night sleep and I have started reading about what mixtures have helped others with this as well.  I can not wait to get them and try them to see if this will work for her.  Her room and her sleep should be a safe place and I just want to get it back to that for her!  Also We have cut any screen time before bed in hopes this will help as well.  and please if you have any other tips comment and let me know b/c it is not easy to see your little one so sad and panicked

I will let you guys know how it goes with the oils once I have them!

“Mommy your belly is getting bigger”

Yes yes my daughter said that to me  today.  Thanks kid I’m really just packing on the pounds but I’m so happy you noticed!

Ah so in all of this I don’t know if I have said but Hayden knew we were pregnant and she was going to be a big sister again.  We may have been a bit overly excited that we were going to have a third and Hayden had asked for another baby sister or brother so we told her a bit prematurely which was obviously a big mistake.

How do you tell them? How do you tell them that the baby that was inside your belly for 9 weeks is no longer there? It didn’t make it? We had decided well we’re going to try again so maybe just maybe we don’t have to tell her. But 3 miscarriages later and she’s still talking about being a big sister again I am now obviously beginning to think it wasn’t the best decision.

I know it is not the last time her saying something like that.  She says random things all the time,  she even likes to tell random people from time to time.

Over the holidays I took the kids to the distillery for the Christmas Market  (*Sidenote: we honestly had the best time ever and it will be a new tradition*).  While we were there we decided to go inside and have something to eat and get thawed out so we went to Mill Street.

The table beside us was a mother with her 2 daughters (who were probably just a bit younger then myself).  Hayden took a real liking to them..so much that she introduced herself, her brother annnnd told them there’s a baby in my belly!! Yay everyone that I don’t know is so happy (Honestly the most lovely family ever) they all said congrats, I said thank you so much, put my beer to my mouth and chugged..actually feel like I raised my pint glass to them as to say cheers I’m pregnant and a fackin’ idiot with a beer.  So I had to clear it up to this wonderful family that I am not infact pregnant she just thinks I am.

She will randomly tell people like that because she is so excited, she will randomly tell me that our baby is going to crack out of my belly real soon and I shake my head and say “not anytime soon babe”.

I keep thinking maybe she will forget we told her that, maybe she will realize something isn’t right but that’s alot to think of for a 4 year old and we all know they remember everything!

Maybe we approached it wrong but I have not been able to wrap my head around telling her this.  This part will forever make it hard not to have sadness in me, but we will figure it out and lil Miss H has her bestfriend who she calls brother so I think that is reason to believe everything is great 🙂

New Years Resolutions – Finally

So last night I went to my work Christmas dinner, dinner was amazing as it usually is at Chatterpauls (If you haven’t been there before it’s in Whitby and it’s a must).

But I got home and as soon as I walked in the house I just had a melt down…man I am thankful for my amazing husband.  I don’t know what the reason for this meltdown was;  if it was the realization that I’ve been such a difficult person to live with, if it was the feeling of not being happy with myself, if it was the miscarriages that sometimes I can’t hold back, the exhaustion , or probably just a big mixed bag of everything together.

But after talking to my kick ass husband and telling him I’m sorry for being such a bitch towards him I realized a few things:  I realized that  I push everything to the back of my mind b/c of these 2 amazing humans that we have,  I realized I push any sad/bad feelings aside because I never want them to see me like that, I realized that I push things that i’ve wanted to do forever to the side because well I’d rather spend the time and money on them and I realized that I always worry about everyone else and never focus on myself.  By the end of the day I take it out on my husband b/c well who else are you going to take it out on?!?!  These tiny humans make my day so much better and when I’m with them my heart is so full, but I don’t have the time to think about everything else going on either so unfortunately I act bitchy towards my husband  b/c well he’s the closest to me, for that I can’t say sorry enough!

So I’ve decided finally on my new years resolutions – to do things that make me feel better/make me happy on top of making sure we have amazing family time

  1.  Well was this blog so I can check that off – it really does make me feel better!
  2. Don’t worry about the weight – just get healthy and feel better, feel like YOU
  3. Sign up for the Interior Design course I’ve been wanting to do for years.
  4. Be a better example for my little humans
  5. More adventures with the family – less staying locked up in the house
  6. Get my house organized – Maybe I should watch that new show everyone is watching?!?! i’m afraid I will become too obsessed with it so have been boycotting it
  7. Go on more dates with just me and the hubs – even if it’s just for a cup of coffee
  8. The most important one – Make sure My family is happy and living life to the fullest…including me!

To all the Moms I challenge you to make New Years Resolutions for JUST you as well as for your family!

 

*featured image taken by Caitlin Free Photography*

Be Our Guest

 

Okay so I figured I would put some of my DIY stuff on here as well…I mean there is an amazing life I lead outside of all of this messy miscarriage business.

We got married on June 16th 2018 and I wanted something really cool for a seating chart so I found a french door on varage sale that cost me like $10 and I just went to town on it.
I sanded the crap out of it, I repainted it white using Fusion Mineral Casement and then I went over it with A grey from Fusion Mineral and made it looked really distressed.

I wanted to find a cool door knob but I couldn’t find one that made sense with the door soo I went without one, I mean if I didn’t leave that part till last minute i’m sure I could have found a cool one.

I used my #silhouettecameo and my computer to make vinyl cut outs of all the table numbers and names.  I then transferred it over so that a table was in each window of the door, I’m not gonna lie it took awhile to transfer it over but that’s mainly b/c the transfer tape I got was really intense…def not the right one to use.   Then since we love beauty and the Beast in this house….(well really all disney but my husband and daughter were doing their dance at the wedding to tale as old as time)  I cut out Be our Guest on vinyl and put it at the top of the door and bam my gorgeous door was finished.

I was overly obsessed with my door and to be honest i’m really sad that I sold it afterwards..someone bought it to use as a picture frame and well I wish that I just kept it.

Check out my photos of the before and after.  Also if you actually read this let me know if I should do a blog about my diy wedding…I mean I may do one anyways but I’d rather some kind of feed back first 🙂
The 2 photos are done by our amazingly wonderful photographer Caitlin Free Photography 

 

30, 626 photos

Have you guys gone to the pop up “Happy Place” yet?!?!

I have to say it’s pretty cool if you’re one of those ppl where all you care about is getting cool pics.   I also have to say that I am a picture whore!!! I love pictures, the more pictures I have the better, the cooler the pics can be the better..I love pics so much that I have 30, 626 photos on my Iphone and I have to say I really did not like being at this place!

I should have listened to my one friend…she’s very honest like me but I didn’t because it got soo much hype.  It’s probably cool for older kids I guess but us with our 4 year old and our 2 year old (who I don’t like to take anywhere..shhhh) it was more of an unhappy place than anything!  You literally go there, stand in a line, take a pic….go to the next part stand in a line take a pic…and you feel rushed b/c there is so many ppl behind you and you don’t want to hold all these ppl up to get the photo you know you could get.

Hayden was fine (our 4 year old), Hunter well he’s a whole other story..he just screamed and hit me the entire time  b/c he just wanted to go and do his thang.
But a bit about Hunter he’s legit the happiest kid at home, you take him out and it’s like something/someone has possessed the child, so maybe it was a bad call on my behalf.  Not to mention yes it is free for kids 4 and under, however it cost Myself and my husband 85$ to stand in lines for an hour!! It’s def not something I would recommend for young ones and def something I would never go to again!

I have heard ppl have loved it and have had amazing experiences, maybe we went the wrong day as I have yet to hear a negative thing about it besides from my good trusted friend who I will make sure I listen to no matter what.  I think sometimes you just have to go see it to believe it and to make sure you didn’t miss out on something awesome..well I could have dealt without it.

What are your thoughts about it ?!?!

Drunk tired without being drunk?!?!

Ah so part of my issue lately is feeling that drunk tired…or that pregnancy tired however I’m clearly not drunk 24/7 and with everything happening I am def not pregnant!!

I went for my follow up with my kick ass naturopath this past Saturday and it’s clear..it’s not my emotional state, it’s not in my head (you are always worried it’s in your head right?!) I am low on a bunch of shit!

So on top of being insanely deficient  in Vitamin D I am also B12 and Iron deficient; among other things but these 3 are the main ones.  So no wonder why I am always exhausted, always umm….well let’s say snippy.  So I had my first B12 shot Saturday and I will continue getting them once a week for at least the next 6 weeks, I have gotten some iron pills, my Vitamin D drops and an amazing natural prenatal which has everything in it and will help boast me up in everything.  As a result we shall do this for 3 months then retest and see if my levels are up and she recommends not trying for our third until this happens.  But my mind is confused now if I want a third but either way at least I am getting my health back in check and can go from there right ?!?!

It’s nice to have some answers and know a little bit about what’s going on in my body, I don’t feel crazy anymore there’s actual reasoning for me feeling like this annd there is reasoning behind my miscarriages. I had 0 idea that being deficient in vitamin D was linked to miscarriage…did you?!?!