Raise Your Hand if you’re a Mom and Eat in Peace

Annd no one raises their hand….I mean I am sure that there are a few extremely lucky mommas out there that get to eat with silence and don’t have to hide in the closets like I do over here.
It’s also a little worse now since we have added a little puppy to our family and if I turn my back that pup is into EVERYTHING!

So I wanted to share two of my new favourite companies that I was lucky to discover through the world of Instagram :).

First off I want to tell you that if I think something I try is shit I will tell you it’s shit and warn you against getting it or I just won’t write anything at all about them 🙂

So both of these companies are ones that make it easy and quick for us mommas to eat whether it’s on the go,  in our closet or while our kiddos are munching down their meals :).

I am now forever in love with smoothie bowls!  I mean don’t get me wrong I always enjoyed my smoothies but this just brings my smoothie game to a whole other level!

So the first company I’ll talk to you about is called Evive Smoothie  !  Guys these are so cool and guess what?!?! for all my Vegan friends they are made for you too!!  They come in frozen cubes – you literally pop the cubes, cover them with your favourite liquid (water, milk, almond milk you name it) , you blend instantly either through a blender or you can take it on the go and devour it once it melts then you shake it and giver’.  They have a whole bunch of different flavours and so far I love all of the ones I’ve tried!  They are 100% natural ingredients – full of fruit and veggies!  They are plant based organic with no added sugar, super quick to prepare taste amazing and hey my kiddos love them too!  So go check them out now and I am sure you will fall in love like I did!  If you guys want to give it a try add the code ERICA 10 to get $10 off your first order!!

For the second company that I have fallen in love with.  The OatBox.  Guys I have never tasted Granola or Oatmeal so good before and I love both!!!  Some info about their product:

They are committed to providing us with the highest quality products. They source simple and natural ingredients, their oat flakes are organic same with their rye flakes and their honey is premium raw organic honey!  Also you have to love a company that gives back  – for every subscription purchase, we donate a complete breakfast to a child in need!!  They have a monthly subscription where you get different flavours every month, they have a few different packages to choose from so go check them out now – I guarantee you will NOT be disappointed !!  If you do decide to try them (and you should because they are delicious, quick and healthy) you can use the code erica20 and it will add $45 worth of products in your cart for only $20 – this will include their amazing breakfast bars, oatmeal, granola an Oatbox glass jar also 6 recipe cards with amazing ideals of how to prepare your breakfast/healthy snacks!

My favourite thing to do is to make smoothie bowls with both products!  You def can’t beat it!!

 

Let me know if you’ve tried these companies and what your thoughts are!

New Years Resolutions – Finally

So last night I went to my work Christmas dinner, dinner was amazing as it usually is at Chatterpauls (If you haven’t been there before it’s in Whitby and it’s a must).

But I got home and as soon as I walked in the house I just had a melt down…man I am thankful for my amazing husband.  I don’t know what the reason for this meltdown was;  if it was the realization that I’ve been such a difficult person to live with, if it was the feeling of not being happy with myself, if it was the miscarriages that sometimes I can’t hold back, the exhaustion , or probably just a big mixed bag of everything together.

But after talking to my kick ass husband and telling him I’m sorry for being such a bitch towards him I realized a few things:  I realized that  I push everything to the back of my mind b/c of these 2 amazing humans that we have,  I realized I push any sad/bad feelings aside because I never want them to see me like that, I realized that I push things that i’ve wanted to do forever to the side because well I’d rather spend the time and money on them and I realized that I always worry about everyone else and never focus on myself.  By the end of the day I take it out on my husband b/c well who else are you going to take it out on?!?!  These tiny humans make my day so much better and when I’m with them my heart is so full, but I don’t have the time to think about everything else going on either so unfortunately I act bitchy towards my husband  b/c well he’s the closest to me, for that I can’t say sorry enough!

So I’ve decided finally on my new years resolutions – to do things that make me feel better/make me happy on top of making sure we have amazing family time

1.  Well was this blog so I can check that off – it really does make me feel better!
2. Don’t worry about the weight – just get healthy and feel better, feel like YOU
3. Sign up for the Interior Design course I’ve been wanting to do for years.
4. Be a better example for my little humans
5. More adventures with the family – less staying locked up in the house
6. Get my house organized – Maybe I should watch that new show everyone is watching?!?! i’m afraid I will become too obsessed with it so have been boycotting it
7. Go on more dates with just me and the hubs – even if it’s just for a cup of coffee
8. The most important one – Make sure My family is happy and living life to the fullest…including me!

To all the Moms I challenge you to make New Years Resolutions for JUST you as well as for your family!

 

*featured image taken by Caitlin Free Photography*

30, 626 photos

Have you guys gone to the pop up “Happy Place” yet?!?!

I have to say it’s pretty cool if you’re one of those ppl where all you care about is getting cool pics.   I also have to say that I am a picture whore!!! I love pictures, the more pictures I have the better, the cooler the pics can be the better..I love pics so much that I have 30, 626 photos on my Iphone and I have to say I really did not like being at this place!

I should have listened to my one friend…she’s very honest like me but I didn’t because it got soo much hype.  It’s probably cool for older kids I guess but us with our 4 year old and our 2 year old (who I don’t like to take anywhere..shhhh) it was more of an unhappy place than anything!  You literally go there, stand in a line, take a pic….go to the next part stand in a line take a pic…and you feel rushed b/c there is so many ppl behind you and you don’t want to hold all these ppl up to get the photo you know you could get.

Hayden was fine (our 4 year old), Hunter well he’s a whole other story..he just screamed and hit me the entire time  b/c he just wanted to go and do his thang.
But a bit about Hunter he’s legit the happiest kid at home, you take him out and it’s like something/someone has possessed the child, so maybe it was a bad call on my behalf.  Not to mention yes it is free for kids 4 and under, however it cost Myself and my husband 85$ to stand in lines for an hour!! It’s def not something I would recommend for young ones and def something I would never go to again!

I have heard ppl have loved it and have had amazing experiences, maybe we went the wrong day as I have yet to hear a negative thing about it besides from my good trusted friend who I will make sure I listen to no matter what.  I think sometimes you just have to go see it to believe it and to make sure you didn’t miss out on something awesome..well I could have dealt without it.

What are your thoughts about it ?!?!

Drunk tired without being drunk?!?!

Ah so part of my issue lately is feeling that drunk tired…or that pregnancy tired however I’m clearly not drunk 24/7 and with everything happening I am def not pregnant!!

I went for my follow up with my kick ass naturopath this past Saturday and it’s clear..it’s not my emotional state, it’s not in my head (you are always worried it’s in your head right?!) I am low on a bunch of shit!

So on top of being insanely deficient  in Vitamin D I am also B12 and Iron deficient; among other things but these 3 are the main ones.  So no wonder why I am always exhausted, always umm….well let’s say snippy.  So I had my first B12 shot Saturday and I will continue getting them once a week for at least the next 6 weeks, I have gotten some iron pills, my Vitamin D drops and an amazing natural prenatal which has everything in it and will help boast me up in everything.  As a result we shall do this for 3 months then retest and see if my levels are up and she recommends not trying for our third until this happens.  But my mind is confused now if I want a third but either way at least I am getting my health back in check and can go from there right ?!?!

It’s nice to have some answers and know a little bit about what’s going on in my body, I don’t feel crazy anymore there’s actual reasoning for me feeling like this annd there is reasoning behind my miscarriages. I had 0 idea that being deficient in vitamin D was linked to miscarriage…did you?!?!

Here We Go Again….

We’re Pregnant!!!!

 

Is what I would love to scream out loud right now. We were pregnant ….again. Have you ever heard of that?!?! I haven’t had my period since August (not that I am complaining about that part..stay away forever and I’ll be a happy lady). Basically we have been pregnant 3 times in the span of 2 months…or less I lost track of the time! Apparently we’re still extremely fertile so that’s good! Anyways so here’s the scoop this time. I found out I was pregnant again and was doing well third times a charm..my boobs hurt this time so I thought this is a good sign right ?!? My hormones are there right?!!? It’s crazy I always know when I’m preg within the first 1-2 weeks but unfortunately I now always know when I’m about to miscarry.

 

I had set up an appointment with a naturopath before I found out I was pregnant, I was sitting at my first appointment with her, thinking I love this girl I can just chat with her and she feels like one of my bestfriends. Anyways I’m sitting on the bed and I say “well….it’s happening again” and I say it with my eyes rolling but to be honest not much emotion. My naturopath questioned why I thought this way and I said I can feel it in my back..it’s the first place I feel it. She hoped I was wrong and sent me for some blood tests because it is clear something was causing this.

 

Next day I miscarried.

 

I had 7 viles of blood taken at a Life Labs clinic…it’s so cool that you can just create an account and get your results online. Although it made me a crazy person checking it every 5 minutes to see if the results are in and trying to google every single result, which also wasn’t soo good for my health.

 

So far the only thing I know is that I have a vitamin D deficiency, which I never knew is actually linked to miscarriages. So I have been put on a high dose of Vitamin D drops in hopes within the next 2 months my levels will go up.

 

I have another appointment with my kick ass Naturopath next Saturday (Jan. 5th) to go over all my blood work and to find out if anything else is linked to this mystery. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs these last couple months and I am a cranky bitch….my husband hasn’t left me yet though soo I really appreciate that he’s hanging in there with his bitch of a wife!

Only 1% of women will have a 2nd miscarriage??

Well this is a topic that is not talked about too much and I’m not one to hold back about how things are soo if you don’t want to hear about the truth and process of when you miscarry then this blog post is not for your eyes because shit will get graphic! I have researched miscarriage a little bit since I myself have had 3 now. Did you know that they say only 1% of women will have a 2nd miscarriage?? I call bullshit on this stat as I have met several other people besides myself that have had multiple miscarriages.

 

I’m not someone that is queen of advice or anything but I will tell you what happened in my cases and tell you what helped me to get over it…well at least cope with it because no matter what, you will always have that what if when it comes to miscarrying.

 

So here are my stories and again some are graphic

 

Miscarriage #1 – I’ve already written about this but for anyone that didn’t see that post:

So I was about 10.5 weeks pregnant when I went to my doctor with some spotting. He said don’t worry it’s normal it’s “Old blood” but I didn’t spot with Hayden and I had a feeling what he was saying wasn’t right…I kept my head high though and I tried to relax and not think about it. About a week later I was at a funeral for my family member quite a ways from home, I went with my parents and my sister..keep in mind no one knew I was pregnant at this point. While I was standing there at the celebration of life with my little one I felt it. I felt a gush and I knew it was over; I excused myself went to the bathroom and sure enough the dreaded red blood was there…that ladies is not what you want to see that bright red blood. I couldn’t do anything, no one knew…I couldn’t tell anyone as i didn’t want attention on myself now was not the time. I didn’t have anything to soak up this blood and luckily it wasn’t too heavy yet so I piled up toilet paper put it in there and prayed it would do the job and prayed that my family would just leave soonish. I went back out and acted as if nothing was wrong and hung out with my family (Matt was at home as he was not back from work in time to go). I messaged him let him know as soon as we get home we have to go to emerg and that I was losing the baby. On the way home I messaged one of my gfs and asked her to please come over and stay with Hayden while she was sleeping and I explained what had happened..she also did not know I was pregnant. Of course she came over and off we went to the hospital. I can’t tell you how ridiculous it is to go through this and have to wait forever to even see a dr!! We got in and they pulled a portable ultrasound machine in and I was right we lost the baby. Had to wait for the Dr to come back and do a D&C for those who don’t know what a #dandc is it’s a procedure where they basically scrape your insides to remove tissue from the inside of your uterus. This process is uncomfortable as fuck and if you think your period pains are bad well the cramping with this process is worse than that. To be honest I don’t remember the pain too much; all I remember was raking my brain trying to figure out what I did to cause it and being mad at myself and so hurt that I let this happen. However the answer to that question is nothing, I did nothing to cause this horrible thing and no matter how true the saying “everything happens for a reason” is…everytime someone said it to me I wanted to punch them in their head not gonna lie. The aftermath of a Miscarriage is just like it is after you have given birth (the further along you are the worse it is..in my experiences anyways). I bled for about 3-4 weeks and that stopped me from being able to get over it. But eventually things died down, we got pregnant again and I gave birth to an extremely handsome baby boy…my rainbow baby.

 

Miscarriage #2:

 

Fast forward a few years till this past couple of months, now this is the one that is not easy to write about annd is a bit graphic so if you want to stop here I understand. This one is fresh in my mind so I remember everything.

 

We hummed and hawed about having a 3rd – everyday was a different answer. Finally we decided let’s go for it; if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t and we have 2 perfect children. Well those of you that know us well know that we are very lucky when it comes to being fertile (knock on wood) and before we knew it we were pregnant and thinking oh man we are bat shit crazy for doing this! And then it came…again. I didn’t feel pregnant I was now 9 weeks pregnant and my ob appointment was coming up. I was cleaning the house on a Saturday and I just had this feeling, I went to the bathroom and I was spotting “old blood”. I immediately got upset and told Matt “it’s happening again, i’m going to go lay down”. I laid down for a bit and thought maybe for some odd chance I am wrong; so I got ready and we went out for dinner with our kick ass friends.

When we got home sure enough the bright red blood had started…we immediately went to the hospital while our friends watched our kids. This time it was quick but the Dr was an asshole and I probably could have punched the him and the nurse in the face. We got there they didn’t do any blood work, they didn’t do what they did last time and roll an ultrasound machine in…instead he asked me a whole of TWO fackin’ questions and said we can’t do an ultrasound tonight but we will get you in first thing in the morning. The nurse comes…yep the dr didn’t even come back and she tells us we booked you an appointment on MONDAY for an ultra sound..I looked at her and said for a fucking miscarriage I have to wait 2 more days to find out what’s happening??? She said yep and that was that, we were on our way home. Next day we went to another hospital and I’m not kidding when I tell you we were there for 6 HOURS!!! We get in and yes the dr was extremely nice but we got in just for them to say the ultrasound tech left for the day…like really?? you couldn’t have gotten me in this am when you took my blood work?! soo we had no answers yet again.

 

Monday morning comes and I go for my ultrasound…an internal one, cause those are always fun. After when I was putting my clothes back on I did the mistake of looking at the screen and I swore I saw a baby on that screen and I was soo confused. I go see the dr and yes she was extremely nice but she had no answers yet again. She said she could see a bleed but couldn’t say that I misscarried b/c I am still pregnant and the baby is still there but the baby was measuring 6 weeks instead of 9.

So there is a thing called a missed miscarriage so I believe what happened was I lost the baby at 6 weeks but when you have a missed miscarriage you don’t have any symptoms of it..just to really fuck with you I guess.

 

I went home still knowing that I know in my heart what was happening but confused for the fact that I saw the little bean on the screen. A few hours later I had horrible horrible pain and I told my mom, who was here helping me that I had to go upstairs for a bit to lay down and maybe have a shower. Well the pain got worse and I realized I was having contractions, I went to the bathroom and well let’s just say it felt like I ate a whole ton of bad food but it was coming out from the wrong spot. I decided to go in and sit on the floor of the shower and just let it happen b/c what else are you going to do?

This was one of the worst experiences of my life. I then had to actually pull the sac out of me and of course it wasn’t going to go down the shower drain so I had to flush it down the toilet and just bawling I again went to those questions..what have I done? What did I do to cause this? Why is this happening? I put myself in a huge slump and it took weeks for me to come out of it…and I bled for about a month again but didn’t have to do a D&C because everything came out naturally….lucky me got to see EVERYTHING come out. Those that don’t know much about #miscarriage it is like giving #birth in a sense that everything has to come out and you have the contractions with it, they are just over quicker. I am lucky I had an army of friends and family that helped me get through it and my amazing amazing husband!

Miscarriage #3

We were told we didn’t have to wait that it was up to us when we wanted to try again and I decided after I was done bleeding it was go time I need to get pregnant again….our poor little Hayden knew that we were going to have a baby, she was so excited that I didn’t want to explain to her what happened. So we tried and well we got pregnant again!!!! I took the test on a Monday 1-2 weeks it said! Then that Thursday it happened again and we lost the baby, this time it was painless, not a lot of blood and over much quicker, so that was the good thing about that one.

 

Now we wait and decide if/when we want to try again..but I think if we try again this will be our last time.

 

Okay now for the things that helped me get through it..not over it but through it.

I kept saying to myself that we are so incredibly lucky to have 2 healthy (knock on wood), beautiful little humans and some people are not as lucky as we are. That there are a ton of people worse off in this world so buck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. We have an amazing family full of love, so we are happy with what we have! That being said it doesn’t mean you can’t feel sad, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be down because of everything, of course you can and take your time. I have my moments where I get sad but I always go back to the things we do have and I appreciate it more and more everyday!

 

Also ladies please please please remember that if you have had a miscarriage there is literally NOTHING you did that caused it – I mean don’t go skydiving or anything crazy when pregnant but lifting your child or slipping on that piece of ice or whatever it may be did not cause your miscarriage. Also I know all those generic things that people say do not make you feel better and your blood boils when they say it – in your head you may be telling them to f off but remember they are all just trying to help you and you are lucky to have them by your side!

Well that was a long one and I am def not a writer soo I hope it wasn’t too painful.