Oh man but how nice would it be if it was?!?!
We all have those ppl that we follow on social media and we think man their life looks perfect. But it’s just a bunch of squares that everyone fills with happy moments…yes I myself do it as well but I also share things that aren’t “cupcakes and rainbows”.
But I will say…that person’s life isn’t perfect, no ones life is “perfect” I mean really what is perfect?? I don’t think there is anyone you follow on social media that doesn’t have issues whether they make it known or not may be a different story but I can promise you they are going through something or have gone through something that you as a follower don’t know.
This weekend for some reason was crazy emotional for me, I’m not sure what it was but I know that I am not truly happy with myself, I know that the things in the past couple of months have weighed me down..and while I have the best children, the best husband and i’ve had the mind set of “f it i’m going to do whatever makes me happy”…I still have a lot to work on!
I can’t have anxiety about going out b/c I don’t like the way I feel about myself..I have to work on it. I can’t not talk about things b/c i know that other people have a harder life, I need to talk about things to get it out and I am allowed to feel the way I feel.
The pics that I have here are when I was pregnant with Hayden and then one where I was pregnant with Hunter (my rainbow baby).
To be honest I wasn’t one of those people that loved being pregnant..I actually hated most of it if i’m being honest, I wasn’t one of those “cute” pregnant ppl, I was well…i’ll just say not cute! I was always sick, my back was always sore but on the other hand I was so excited to meet these two little ones…Annd it’s amazing what your body can do!! Feeling a little baby move inside you, seeing their hands and feet punch out at you is truly amazing..they sometimes literally play games with you while they are inside you…the woman’s body (even though we curse it ladies) is truly wonderful! This being said I would love to go back to that pregnant stage even when I really disliked a lot of the moments..the good always out weighs the bad.
Not everyone has the chance to feel this feeling and my heart hurts for them. I am super lucky I have felt this feeling and because of that I would try my best not to complain and just enjoy it…don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I didn’t complain at all b/c I def did!
We wanted a third and we have tried so hard and I am sure the trying is not over but it’s def on hold for the moment. I don’t talk about the things that have happened because I feel bad about being sad and I don’t want to sound like i’m complaining to others because again we are so insanely lucky to have the amazing two kiddos we have!! But I I’m realizing it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to talk about it and it’s def okay to be a bit angry and shed a few tears of sadness and frustration.
Even if you are extremely lucky, even if you have an amazing family, an amazing house and an amazing life it doesn’t mean that everything in your life is amazing and it’s okay to be sad about things when you go through them and when things don’t happen the way you vision or the way you want them to.
It’s OKAY!! Even though you feel guilty for feeling this way it’s okay to and we have to realize that. We have to realize that some things are okay to cry about, to talk about and to be completely and utterly gutted about. So take that time to be angry, take that time to be sad and always always take that time you need to heal and work on what will make you feel better! Remember that no matter how “Perfect” someone’s life looks from the outside, they are probably battling a demon of some sort! Don’t bottle it up and talk to someone!
That being said – we also have to focus on the amazing and imperfect life that we have b/c the good outweighs the bad and you don’t want the bad to completely consume you..that’s not healthy for anyone!
Let’s talk more about the things ppl don’t talk about, lets talk to each other and help each other rise above!
The photos with Hayden in my belly are done by my amazingly talented cousin: You by Mia Photography
The photo of Hayden and I dancing in the field was taken by my other amazingly talented friend Lesley Cowan Photography